We leave end-of-life discussions to other publications.<\/p>\n
However, there comes a time for all of us to face the loss of a loved one. I typically try not to insert details of my personal life into our editorial content. I choose, instead, to let our contributors tell their stories.<\/p>\n
I am breaking from that rule today to share my story, hopefully, as a way to help others who might be in the same position. What I am about to say will also shed light on why this particular magazine issue is a little later than usual.<\/p>\n
![\"\"](\"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/02\/dad-and-me.-age-96.jpg\")
<\/a>Dad, 96, at a pancake breakfast with me, when he first came to live with us.<\/p><\/div>\n
My father came to live with my family four years ago upon the death of my mother on Christmas Eve, 2017. Had they been well-known, they each could have been a cover story for Healthy Aging\u00ae Magazine. My mother reached almost 100 years of age. She and my father lived in their own home, were independent, and were the ultimate parents, grandparents, and great-grandparents. They hosted holidays even to the end of my mother\u2019s life.<\/p>\n
Two weeks after my mother\u2019s passing, my Dad suffered a stroke. We all thought he would live out his remaining days in a nursing home. That was not to be. Thankfully, he somehow rallied, passed all of the tests given to him in the hospital, and pronounced, \u201cI want to go home.\u201d<\/p>\n
On Super Bowl Sunday, just a short time after the stroke, my Dad left his Connecticut home and came to live with my family in Pennsylvania. Not sure how the stroke would ultimately affect his daily living, we embraced the spirit we try to convey in the pages of Healthy Aging\u00ae and encouraged Dad in his rehab. This involved hours of driving to speech therapy sessions, physical therapy, and more.<\/p>\n
<\/a>Master trainer, Doug Slabach, West Chester, PA, knows age has no boundaries. Shown here leading John Worthington in a plank at 96 years old.<\/p><\/div>\n
But, guess what? He rallied. Inch by inch, he recovered. I attribute much of his return to physical and mental health to a personal trainer I knew at a gym, Doug Slabach, who now runs his own gym, Unstoppable Strong<\/a>. Three days a week, personal fitness sessions with Doug seemed to bring Dad back to life. When the warm weather arrived, Dad expressed interest in swimming once again. He used to be an avid lap swimmer. So why not try. Unfortunately, the stroke affected his ability to float, but he wanted to try anyway.<\/p>\n Dad and coach Mack Henderson<\/p><\/div>\n Enter Mack Henderson, a swim coach, who took my Dad on. Not only did they give it the old college try, but they succeeded in getting Dad back to swimming. Sure he wore a lifebelt, but Dad swam twice a week at the Y \u2013 even during the pandemic.<\/p>\n Dad swimming 600 yards.<\/p><\/div>\n \u201cHow many yards did you do, today,\u201d I would ask. \u201cOh, the usual \u2013 600 yards,\u201d he would reply.<\/p>\n Dad making salad. The poster boy for maintaining independence even into the 90s.<\/p><\/div>\n Oh \u2013 and by the way \u2013 Dad returned to driving. We had him checked out by a professional driving instructor whose only final comment was, \u201cI hope I can drive as well as he does at his age.\u201d<\/p>\n So, for four years, we had the blessing of my Dad as a productive family member \u2026 He cooked, made salads, batches of sugar cookies (he ate them, not me!), repaired stuff, and was genuinely happy. Not bad for a guy who worked for IBM for 40 years, was in World War II working on communications in the South Pacific, raised a family of four children, was married for 70-something years.<\/p>\n Dad died at 98 here at our home. (My mom lied about her age \u2026 she thought he didn\u2019t know). We held a \u201ccelebration of life,\u201d attended by close friends two weeks later \u2013 many of whom met my father while living here. Yes, you can develop friendships even in your nineties.<\/p>\n When a family member passes away, it is always a shock, even if they suffer from diseases or other physical impairments. We were fortunate that my father was healthy until the end, but it still threw us.<\/p>\n What you may not know when confronted with someone\u2019s passing is what you do next? As silly as it sounds, is there a checklist of what to do? Yes, there are, and these proved to be most helpful for me.<\/p>\n Here is a link to one. This checklist covers tasks such as what to do immediately and later, including obtaining a death certificate, notifying others, canceling services, etc.<\/p>\n Checklist — Things To Do When A Person Dies<\/a><\/p>\n While those four years were sometimes challenging (as all intergenerational living can be), we were lucky to have my Dad here, to see him smile, grow and thrive in his 90s. His secret? \u201cAlways go forward, don\u2019t look back.\u201d He was the most positive person I have ever known, and I hope to continue to honor him through my work with Healthy Aging\u00ae.<\/p>\n<\/a><\/a><\/a>