Transformational Guide Jaime B. Haas<\/a>, known for her methods to silence the inner critical voice so you can finally break free from negative thoughts and limiting beliefs. \u201cThe subconscious mind holds on to messages that were told to you as a child that you not only held on to but created a belief system that you shaped your life around to make sense of the world.\u201d<\/p>\nAccording to Haas, much of our early learning patterns are layered with assumptions and messages that have been reinforced over time.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe key to personal growth is to stop placing our wellbeing on external factors and deal with the core wounds that inform our limiting, negative, fear-based beliefs,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s critical to find the painful, harmful thought patterns and behaviors from years of programming and painful experiences. It is in identifying exactly what you are thinking and doing and deciding to take action that the greatest change and healing starts to happen in your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Great Transformation<\/h3>\n
Each of us is presented with invitations to keep growing. The battle is if we choose to accept them. We are constantly presented with situations that we don\u2019t want or don\u2019t make us feel good or whole. We either turn it against ourselves, against others, or we awaken to the opportunity to change.<\/p>\n
Anxiety and fear of the unknown are manifestations of how we are hardwired to perpetuate the task-and-reward system that we learned as children. We want to make someone else the bad guy\u2014or at least the reason for our discontent\u2014or worse, we turn on ourselves and create more problems. Bottom line: We\u2019re uncomfortable with the silence that accompanies reflection that leads to change, so we don\u2019t take the brave, solitary journey inward.<\/p>\n
Growth, or the great transformation, happens when the desire to change becomes greater than the fear of change. In other words, it\u2019s when you are so uncomfortable and unhappy with the way things are or that they are trending that the fear of change no longer has a grip on you. You are willing to do what it takes to make the necessary changes, even if we don\u2019t know what to do first.<\/p>\n
The Power of Pattern Work<\/h3>\n
According to Haas, there are at least four reasons you can\u2019t stop thinking negative thoughts about who you are, your ability to get what you want out of life, and how capable you are of achieving your goals. Haas\u2019s proven approach is like taking your car through a multi-point inspection. You\u2019ll need to address all the reasons why your negative thoughts trap you.<\/p>\n
\u201cWe know we have to do more than buy shiny new hubcaps, or get a new paint job, or go through the car wash to keep a car running safely on the road toward a destination,\u201d Haas said. \u201cWe also know these actions don\u2019t fix the car, and they certainly can\u2019t help get you to your desired destination.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important to address all four reasons because if you arbitrarily eliminate one or two, you won\u2019t have the scaffolding to support your new framework. One or more old habits will creep back into your thoughts, conversations, and behaviors.<\/p>\n
\u201cThese four reasons are just the tip of the iceberg,\u201d she said. \u201cBut the things you learn when you address them become the building blocks to achieving the quality of life you desire.\u201d<\/p>\n
1. Fears or Limiting Beliefs<\/h3>\n
Fears or limiting beliefs keep you stuck. To kick off the work, you will need to identify and reprogram any negative belief patterns by replacing them with positive and affirming thoughts and actions. You\u2019ll also be challenged to stop listening to the voices in your head telling you the lies about yourself and leading to your misperception of the world. It is about reprogramming your mind for the better by thinking and behaving in ways that create a more positive, loving way of seeing yourself and the world. In other words, do you build yourself up or beat yourself up? When you detach from negative thoughts, you will be able to cultivate more joy, envision more, or greater, possibilities for your life, and be more present. It all starts with making small changes, such as how you talk to yourself and what you were taught to believe.<\/p>\n
2. Negative Manifestation Compulsion (NMC)<\/h3>\n
Do you constantly criticize or judge yourself or others? If you were raised in a household where finding fault was common behavior, your brain was likely programmed to interpret your negative thoughts as literal truths. When you begin to question the source of these false \u201ctruths,\u201d you start to engage in rituals, behaviors, and actions to create a different experience.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe transformation begins when you take positive action to stop living in old, critical belief systems,\u201d Haas said. \u201cMy method helps you address why you might be holding on to negative thoughts. You will learn how to unpack them, which involves replacing them with new, positive thoughts, reciting affirmations that resonate with your new experience, and showing up differently in your life.\u201d<\/p>\n
3. Your Perception of Self<\/h3>\n
If you are very harsh on yourself and focus on all your missed opportunities, weaknesses, and perceived flaws, you\u2019re not alone. Research shows that struggling with, arguing with, and trying to drown out or push away negative thoughts about yourself only amplifies the problems and makes them worse. The dilemma is not that we have negative thoughts. It comes when we begin to believe those thoughts and cannot evolve. It\u2019s about building self-love from within ourselves.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a multi-faceted process that involves finding your feelings, affirming the good about yourself, practicing meditation and self-care, showing up present, authentic and honest in your life, and doing more things that bring you joy,\u201d Haas said. \u201cThere is no quick-fix or magic bullet. It is a holistic set of actions.\u201d<\/p>\n
4. Focusing on the Outside to Fix the Inside<\/h3>\n
\u201cYou are the greatest project you\u2019ll ever work on,\u201d Haas said. \u201cBut if you\u2019ve done everything to change the outside, from pursuing a degree, changing jobs, and relocating to a new city; to fixing your body or changing your wardrobe, and you still haven\u2019t gotten what you want in life, that means it\u2019s time to look inward.\u201d<\/p>\n
When we seek external sources to validate our sense of self, we empower that thing or person outside to be the source of our identity and wellbeing.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen we give all our power to other people to make us feel better about ourselves, we will never feel OK on our own,\u201d Haas said. \u201cWe begin to crave that hit to fix us, or that crumb of love, attention, or affection to feed us, but it\u2019s just a temporary fix. It\u2019s never enough, or it never feels right, so we go back out on the hunt for the next hit, repeating patterns of behavior or thinking that don\u2019t serve us.\u201d<\/p>\n
The work is about discovering, nurturing, and excavating our wellbeing from within ourselves. To do that effectively, we must find a connection with an infinite power source, so we are content, no matter what happens in, to, and around us externally.<\/p>\n
According to Haas, many self-help \u2018gurus\u2019 suggest there\u2019s just one thing on which you should focus.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey tell us that positivity or meditation, for example, is the key to solving our problems when they are just parts of the solution,\u201d Haas said. The most helpful, beneficial practice is holistic, dynamic, and prescriptive.<\/p>\n
The objective is to identify and address the root causes or triggers of your negative thinking, so you can fundamentally change your relationship with your thoughts, yourself, and the world. It\u2019s uncomfortable to relive the dynamics surrounding our core wounds.<\/p>\n
Most people get stuck on autopilot to avoid the discomfort, and they stay there. We get stuck on autopilot and don\u2019t even know it, despite feeling the discomfort and drowning in the unwanted results. We don\u2019t even recognize it because these feelings are familiar, and there is comfort in the familiar. When we take a completely different approach, we will truly have a new experience.\u201d<\/p>\n
The change process may feel scary and uncomfortable\u2014and the process takes time\u2014but it\u2019s actually the point, according to Haas.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf you are comfortable, you are not changing,\u201d Haas said. \u201cIt is when we push ourselves beyond our comfort zone, commit to doing things differently, feel the fear but do it anyway, that\u2019s the great awakening. Life becomes a lot better than the stories we tell about it. Our brains are hardwired to keep us \u2018safe\u2019 and avoid perceived harm, but you should never confuse what\u2019s \u2018safe\u2019 with what\u2019s best for you. We all want to stay safe, but playing it safe is not actually changing.\u201d<\/p>\n
One thing is sure. There is no straight line to healing. When you engage in this work pattern, Haas warns, sometimes you will feel that you\u2019re going backward, and you might not want to stay the course as a result. It\u2019s important to pinpoint the exact thinking and behaviors that are keeping you stuck in repetitive experiences. When you do, you\u2019ll have the insights to change your life.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe grounding that accompanies pattern work helps you manage the moments when you feel defeated,\u201d Haas said. \u201cYou need to address these foundational truths to help you move forward because this transformation will take commitment and work.\u201d<\/p>\n
In all, Haas\u2019s advocates for a trifecta of awareness, affirmations, and deliberate actions, because the way we end patterns is by doing things differently.<\/p>\n
Richelle Payne is a brand strategist and writer based in Philadelphia.<\/h5>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Tips from transformational guide, Jaime B. Haas<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":12443,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[154,155],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12372","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spring-summer-2022","category-spring-summer-2022-features"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12372","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12372"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12372\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":12781,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12372\/revisions\/12781"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12443"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12372"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12372"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12372"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}