Three levels below him in the company, I inherited several client relationships after my section head suddenly resigned. My pulse accelerated reading an email directly from the top: \u201cBe in my office at 8:30 tomorrow morning.\u201d<\/p>\n
This was a stressful scene, to be sure, and I did not sleep. I arrived an hour early to re-read the large client files and to be as prepared as possible for a confrontation that seemed unavoidable.<\/p>\n
My direct VP supervisor already had the client files spread out on his desk. \u201cBeen here most of the night,\u201d he said. \u201cI don\u2019t see anything that you\u2019ve mishandled. But I was an Army chopper pilot in Afghanistan, and I know that you just can\u2019t win in some situations. Here is the deal. If today comes down to one of us losing his job \u2013 it\u2019s going to be you that goes. But other than that, we\u2019re good.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was hugely relieved and grateful for his honesty, and we began to talk through the files.<\/p>\n
An hour later, on the big boss\u2019 table, a single-page letter of resignation awaiting my signature confirmed my fears. But my boss ignored it and seized the initiative, turning to the Division Chief:<\/p>\n
\u201cBoss, we\u2019ve been through every file, and I saw nothing wrong,\u201d he said. \u201cHe\u2019s done a good job, and we can\u2019t afford to lose him. I need him Monday to close a new client, and then you\u2019ll remember I am off on vacation.\u201d<\/p>\n
The Division Chief was stunned and clearly speechless, mumbling a few words in a confused daze. We left quickly, and as the elevator doors closed behind us, I struggled for words: \u201cFor the rest of my life, I will never forget what you just did.\u201d<\/p>\n
He smiled and said softly: \u201cIn the military, you learn a few things about people and meetings. Glad I could help.\u201d<\/p>\n
Wherever you are all these years later, Jim Riley, thank you again from the bottom of my heart.<\/p>\n
Emotions and Confrontations in the Workplace<\/h3>\n
Few in the workplace avoid difficult scenes or confrontations during their careers. The office and corporate worlds can hold many surprises, and many of us have similar \u2018war stories\u2019 \u2013 both figurative and occasionally literal.<\/p>\n
There are three important lessons quotes can offer in such situations:<\/p>\n This is a reality we often forget in the heat of a conflict; thus, success can often be a function of avoiding ego-driven acrimony and personality clashes, as the following quotes remind us:<\/p>\n PROVERB<\/strong>: \u201cThe greatest remedy for anger is delay.\u201d<\/p>\n EPICTETUS:<\/strong> \u201cAny person capable of angering you becomes your master.\u201d<\/p>\n CARL BECKER:<\/strong> \u201cFact-finding is more effective than fault-finding.\u201d<\/p>\n ELDRIDGE CLEAVER:<\/strong> \u201cYou are either part of the solution, or you are part of the problem.\u201d<\/p>\n LOIS FARFEL STARK:<\/strong> \u201cDon\u2019t waste time arguing with someone who cannot change the situation.\u201d<\/p>\n MARK TWAIN:<\/strong> \u201cNever argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.\u201d\nIn my own workplace experiences, I have found that most disputes are sorted out after the event and where a thoughtful defense can prevail over the temptations of finger-pointing. For example, \u2018I believe you misled us.\u2019 will normally get you much further than \u2018You\u2019re a dirty rotten liar!\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n Where a difficult situation looms, selecting the venue is usually preferable and ensuring that you have trusted support lined up in advance. We can borrow much from military strategists and tacticians who instruct that the most successful generals will seek to defend the high ground, hold reserves available to deploy, identify an avenue of escape, and initiate an attack only when there is a significant advantage.<\/p>\n Similarly, in troubled or challenging corporate situations, knowing where and when a key meeting will occur \u2013 and knowing exactly who will be in the room \u2013 can make a major difference in the outcome.<\/p>\n Being isolated or outnumbered is a bad idea. Having your facts or support at your fingertips can be vital. Where your position may have flaws, having a true friend or supporter present will also help. And as with both war and the workplace, knowing who is truly your committed allies can be vital to success, as these quotes remind us:<\/p>\n PROVERB:<\/strong> \u201cNot everyone who smiles at you is your friend.\u201d<\/p>\n GEN. GEORGE S. PATTON, JR.:<\/strong> \u201cI would rather have a German division in front of me than a French division behind me.\u201d<\/p>\n WALTER WINCHELL:<\/strong> \u201cA real friend walks in when the rest of the world walks out.\u201d<\/p>\n ARISTOTLE:<\/strong> \u201cThe cure for fifty enemies is one friend.\u201d<\/p>\n Timing is often especially vital, whether your anticipated confrontation is offensive or defensive. Depending on the facts and your viewpoint, sometimes it is better to be bold and aggressive. In other situations where your prospects may not yet be optimal, delay may be better. Well-calculated surprise has launched many careers and can also often offset staunch opposition:<\/p>\n BEN FRANKLIN:<\/strong> \u201cWhen in doubt, don\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n TACITUS:<\/strong> \u201cLive to fight another day.\u201d<\/p>\n REAR ADM. GRACE HOPPER, Ph.D.:<\/strong> \u201cIf it\u2019s a good idea, go ahead and do it. It\u2019s much easier to apologize than it is to get permission.\u201d<\/p>\n SUN TZU:<\/strong> \u201cDirect confrontation will lead to engagement, and surprise will lead to victory.\u201d<\/p>\n GEN. GEORGE S. PATTON, JR:<\/strong> \u2018A good plan executed violently today is better than a perfect plan executed next week.\u201d<\/p>\n RALPH WALDO EMERSON:<\/strong> \u201cThe world makes way for the man who knows where he is going.\u201d<\/p>\n In conclusion, we have a final quote from the legendary Steve Jobs, who participated in his share of both conflicts and triumphs in the workplace over the course of his career:<\/p>\n STEVE JOBS:<\/strong> \u201cHave the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.\u201d<\/p>\n The right words for expressing our emotions<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":12978,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[160,162],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-12862","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fall-2022","category-fall-2022-columns"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12862","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=12862"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12862\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":13187,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/12862\/revisions\/13187"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/12978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=12862"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=12862"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=12862"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/10\/emotional-shorthand.650.jpg\")
<\/a>Four years ago, I undertook a project to research and assemble short expert quotes about emotions from the world\u2019s greatest leaders and professionals, covering 3000 years of history. My book, Emotional Shorthand: 2500 Greatest Self-Help Quotes and Life Insights<\/em><\/a>, includes curated expert quotes which can be especially helpful in preparing for similar emotional confrontations, criticisms, and arguments in the workplace.<\/p>\n1. Arguments are About Ego, While Debates are About Facts.<\/h3>\n
2. Where Possible, Control the Venue and Include Your Allies<\/h3>\n
3. Timing Can Be Everything<\/h3>\n
D. Earl Johnston<\/a> is the author of Emotional Shorthand: 2500 Greatest Self-Help Quotes and Life Insights<\/em><\/a>. He is also a world-champion sailor, researcher, and public speaker with a deep interest in understanding emotions and behavior. Formerly one of the youngest bank presidents in U.S. history and one of the \u2018Founding Fathers\u2019 of Platinum Equity, LLC, a private company in Los Angeles, he is currently CEO of a nationwide financial litigation consultancy.<\/h5>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"