{"id":16405,"date":"2025-08-19T15:17:23","date_gmt":"2025-08-19T15:17:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/?p=16405"},"modified":"2025-09-12T15:46:47","modified_gmt":"2025-09-12T15:46:47","slug":"your-birthday-is-a-major-holiday","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/fall-2025\/your-birthday-is-a-major-holiday\/","title":{"rendered":"IDEAS: Your Birthday is a Major Holiday"},"content":{"rendered":"

[vc_row css_animation=”” row_type=”row” use_row_as_full_screen_section=”no” type=”full_width” angled_section=”no” text_align=”left” background_image_as_pattern=”without_pattern”][vc_column][vc_column_text css=””]

By Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming<\/p><\/p>\n

Y<\/span>our birthday is the most powerful day of your year. It marks the day you began this magnificent, challenging, interesting life of yours and it\u2019s worth celebrating for that reason alone. Your spirit is in full alignment on your birthday and if you tune in, you can feel \u2013 and radiate \u2013 the uplifting grace of you.<\/p>\n

Celebrating your birthday matters because you matter. Your life matters. And birthdays give you (and the rest of us!) one day a year to press the pause button, so you can put yourself into the center of your day and do what delights you.<\/p>\n

The Importance of Making Your Birthday Special<\/h3>\n

When\u2019s the last time you were able to do that with unfettered joy? Without guilt? Without feeling like you were being selfish. Birthdays are an equal opportunity provider. We all get one 24-hour period a year to celebrate ourselves. It\u2019s healing \u2013 and revealing \u2013 to do so, especially for those who tend to put others\u2019 needs and wishes before their own.<\/p>\n

Many people don\u2019t embrace their birthdays. They actively avoid them and grit their teeth while the day approaches, crests, and ends. Or they show up for a festive day on the outside that is not fulfilling on the inside, feeling internally isolated as good cheer is projected towards them.<\/p>\n

People who experience the \u201cbirthday blues\u201d may subconsciously sabotage any joy they might have on their birthdays. This birthday avoidance likely stems from disappointing childhood experiences when excited hopes and expectations were not met.<\/p>\n

When parents prioritize other things instead of celebrating us, or forget our birthdays (it happens!), or mete out harsh energy on our special day, it can make the sensitive child shut down like a sea anemone.<\/p>\n

Feeling birthday disappointment as a child is magnified because we all know we\u2019re supposed to be special on our birthdays. And when we\u2019re not, well, we may close our hearts and believe our birthday is \u201cjust another day\u201d that doesn\u2019t really matter. So, we wear it as armor and believe it will protect us.<\/p>\n

Many people believe this well into adulthood and create self-fulfilling prophecies to prove it true. This is where birthday sabotage steps in.<\/p>\n

Birthday sabotage is a thing. When we avoid our birthday, we effectively keep any joy from showing up on our day. How can we have a happy birthday if we don\u2019t give it the energy it deserves?<\/p>\n

We can\u2019t, and that\u2019s the point. Another way we sabotage our birthday is by not planning for it in advance. Just like you wouldn\u2019t wake up on Thanksgiving and say, \u201cWhat\u2019s for dinner and who\u2019s coming over?\u201d you can\u2019t expect to wake up on your birthday and have your friends join you for lunch.<\/p>\n

Most of us are too busy to be spontaneously available like that, and it\u2019s not fair to your friends to spring a birthday invitation on them at the last minute. They\u2019ll feel badly for not being able to celebrate you, and you will have subconsciously reaffirmed your belief that your birthday isn\u2019t important.<\/p>\n

A third way we sabotage our birthday is by picking a fight with people close to us. As our birthday approaches, it feels like a big wave of energy coming our way. If we are birthday avoidant \u2013 and even if we\u2019re birthday positive \u2013 we can feel extra sensitive in those days leading up to it.<\/p>\n

We might start crying for no reason or feel agitated. Rather than tuning in and saying to ourselves, \u201cIt looks like I\u2019m feeling anxious about my approaching birthday…what\u2019s going on here?\u201d we might subconsciously pick a fight with people close to us that effectively brings our energy down just in time for our birthday. \u201cSee?\u201d we say to ourselves, \u201c…even when I try to have a happy birthday, I can\u2019t.\u201d We are often unaware that our birthday joy evaporated due to our own choices \u2013 however subconscious.<\/p>\n

Another major reason people don\u2019t like celebrating their birthdays, is because they don\u2019t like aging \u2013 as if aging is a four-letter word. It is not. Aging is a privilege. We all know people who didn\u2019t make it to our age.<\/p>\n

Would we judge them if they lived to be our age or older? Would we criticize them for their gray hair and smile lines? No. We would be delighted they were still alive, celebrating another year of life. Society wants us to believe that being youthful is better than being older. That youthful looks, trends, and attitudes are far more desirable than what we earn (and look like) when we live long enough to gain wisdom through experience.<\/p>\n

Elders are sacred \u2013 and interesting!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Talk to anyone who is over 75 and they all have a rich story. They embody wisdom simply from living long enough to be able to reflect upon their lives with perspective. Embracing our age and refusing to be ashamed or self-deprecating, is a source of power.<\/p>\n

No one gets to define your worth \u2013 especially not because of your age! You are in charge of owning your power, value, and dignity. Aging out loud and proudly defies the cultural stigma around aging that we unwittingly reinforce when we feel we must lie about our age, joke about it, or otherwise apologize for it. We can do better on our own behalf.<\/p>\n

How to Make Your Birthday Truly Special<\/h3>\n

Which brings us back to birthdays. Celebrating ourselves boldly and with joy is a beautiful act of self-affirmation. We all get to do it! So, now what? How can you make your birthdays as special as they can be?<\/p>\n

Here are three things you can do:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Make a Plan \u2013 Early<\/h4>\n

Start thinking of what you\u2019d like to do four to six weeks beforehand. Are you dreaming of dinner at that fancy new restaurant? Make reservations. Want a day at the spa? Make reservations. Would you like to have a dinner party? Invite your friends in advance so they can be available. You get the point. If it\u2019s worth doing on your birthday, you\u2019ll likely need to plan for it. Which includes taking the day off work, or your other normal responsibilities. That\u2019s a big one!<\/p>\n

2. Decorate Your Home<\/h4>\n

Like with other holidays, decorations invoke a festive air that invites anticipation. String up a \u201chappy birthday\u201d banner and buy yourself flowers. On your Birthday Eve (it\u2019s a special time!) set up a birthday altar that features favorite photos including those from your childhood. Add mementos, candles, and whatever else sparks your joy and watch the energy in your home transform<\/p>\n

3. Be Present. Let Go of Perfection<\/h4>\n

Do your thing, follow your plans, and be open to the magic that\u2019s there for you on your day, even if things don\u2019t quite go as you imagined. Turn on the radio and let it serenade you. Tell the barista it\u2019s your birthday and watch them light up with sincere joy for you. Receive all the good energy coming your way (even if you\u2019re not used to it) and allow yourself to expand into the birthday happiness as much as possible.<\/p>\n

You are a miracle. Exactly the way you are. And every year you\u2019re here is a gift. Celebrating your birthday is a chance to remember that. Go on. Do it. And enjoy it all!<\/p>\n

Tamar Hurwitz-Fleming is a birthday coach and the author of the award-winning book, How to Have a Happy Birthday: Create Meaning, Fulfillment and Joy on Your Special Day<\/em><\/a>. You can find her at HowToHaveAHappyBirthday.com<\/a><\/h5>\n

[\/vc_column_text][\/vc_column][\/vc_row]<\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Make it a big deal!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":16610,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[206,208],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16405","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fall-2025","category-fall-2025-columns"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16405","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16405"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16405\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":16735,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16405\/revisions\/16735"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/16610"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16405"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16405"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16405"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}