{"id":16412,"date":"2025-08-19T15:14:32","date_gmt":"2025-08-19T15:14:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/?p=16412"},"modified":"2025-09-12T15:46:22","modified_gmt":"2025-09-12T15:46:22","slug":"i-was-drowning-on-golden-pond","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/fall-2025\/i-was-drowning-on-golden-pond\/","title":{"rendered":"PROFILE: I Was Drowning on Golden Pond"},"content":{"rendered":"

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By Judy Smith<\/p><\/p>\n

T<\/span>hree years ago, I finished writing what I thought would be my debut novel\u2014a charming story about four women in an over-55 community who bond over mah-jongg, children, grandchildren, and the occasional pickleball tournament. It was sweet, sentimental, and a love letter to the joys of aging gracefully.<\/p>\n

I had just typed \u201cThe End\u201d when my real life blew up in my face.<\/p>\n

My partner of 25 years was cheating on me. I found out in the most humiliating way imaginable: he mistakenly had a public\u2014not private\u2014conversation with his mistress on Facebook. For everyone to see. My granddaughters, my children, my friends\u2014even the neighbors in my own over-55 community.<\/p>\n

Cue emotional whiplash. One moment I was basking in fictional friendship; the next, I was reeling from betrayal. And not just one betrayal\u2014multiple. It turned out my 76-year-old partner had a roster of mistresses. I know. Let that sink in.<\/p>\n

So what does a 70-year-old woman do when her world collapses? Well, I threw out the sweet little novel and started over. But not right away. First, I spent three months hiding under the covers, crying, making friends with Ben & Jerry\u2019s, and binge-watching Dateline<\/em> episodes where wives murder their cheating husbands. I emerged from my bed for food and to shower. The eating came often, but the showering, not as much. I ignored the slew of well-meaning friends who texted, called, and emailed. Relentlessly.<\/p>\n

Eventually, I turned to the internet in search of answers. Before all this, my typical searches were innocent enough: \u201cHow to treat a neck rash,\u201d \u201cHome remedies for vertigo,\u201d or \u201cDoes castor oil actually reduce wrinkles?\u201d But now, I was Googling things like, \u201cWhy would a man in his late 70s risk a 25-year relationship?\u201d And do you know what that trusty internet told me?<\/p>\n

Brace yourself: According to the Institute for Family Studies,<\/a> men in their 70s have the highest infidelity rate (26%), and it stays high well into their 80s. Yes, 80s. I\u2019ll pause while you catch your breath.<\/p>\n

Now, this might sound a bit braggy, but bear with me. I\u2019m attractive. I\u2019ve kept myself fit. And I\u2019m what people politely call \u201caffable.\u201d So naturally, I questioned everything\u2014myself, our relationship, and what would come next, once I was finally able to drag myself out of bed.<\/p>\n

But here\u2019s the thing about women in our so-called golden years: we don\u2019t crumble. We do<\/em> get out of bed. We pivot. We write new stories. We reclaim the narrative. I stopped blaming his cheating on my sagging arms or the lines on my face. You know why? Because it was his<\/em> weakness.<\/p>\n

I am still a vital, interesting woman, with a world of life experience\u2014and even more yet to come. I\u2019m learning how to drive an ATV, I\u2019m starting a podcast with my new bestie, I\u2019m working on a second book, and I may even start dating. Or at least start Googling \u201csenior online dating\u201d.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m not saying you have to throw out your cheating partner. Maybe your relationship can grow stronger after infidelity. I\u2019ve heard it happens, and if it does\u2014brava. I applaud you.<\/p>\n

In my case, though, it was a declaration:<\/p>\n

That aging doesn\u2019t mean settling.\nThat betrayal doesn\u2019t mean bitterness.\nThat heartbreak, even at 70, can be a beginning\u2014not an end.<\/p>\n

And that Facebook, ironically, is still good for something. I\u2019ve widened my social circle, embraced new opportunities, and\u2014most importantly\u2014I found me<\/em> again. A strong, independent woman who can hold her head high and face whatever the world has to offer, even at 70.<\/p>\n

The water in my Golden Pond is clearer now. And I dive right in and do my water aerobics.<\/p>\n

And by gosh, I wrote a novel.\nA revenge novel.\nAnd yes\u2014I gave him a copy.<\/p>\n

Judy Smith is the author of The Golden Years Glitch<\/em> <\/a>available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and bookstores nationwide.<\/h5>\n

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