{"id":17169,"date":"2026-04-29T10:11:24","date_gmt":"2026-04-29T10:11:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/?p=17169"},"modified":"2026-05-14T10:56:29","modified_gmt":"2026-05-14T10:56:29","slug":"the-cognitive-test-wed-actually-like-to-take","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/spring-summer-2026\/the-cognitive-test-wed-actually-like-to-take\/","title":{"rendered":"HUMOR: The Cognitive Test We\u2019d Actually Like to Take"},"content":{"rendered":"

Greg <\/em>Stangl shares his take after being <\/em>asked to take a routine cognitive screening\u2014simply because he had reached \u201ca certain age.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

It\u2019s a familiar moment for many adults: a well-meaning test designed to assess memory and awareness\u2026 and a quiet question in the back of your mind\u2014Is this really measuring how I live my life?<\/em><\/p>\n

I was reminded of this recently in a very personal way.<\/em><\/p>\n

I accompanied my father\u2014then 98 years old\u2014to a cognitive evaluation while he was recovering from a mild stroke. (He did recover.) As part of the assessment, the therapist asked him to draw a clock showing a specific time.<\/em><\/p>\n

Now, my father had spent more than 40 years with IBM as a senior systems engineer. He was also a skilled wood craftsman who had actually built clocks.<\/em>\nSo when he began drawing, he carefully added\u2026 Roman numerals.<\/em><\/p>\n

I glanced nervously at the therapist, wondering if she might think he was confused. I even considered stopping him. She caught my eye and gently shook her head, as if to say, just let him go.<\/em>\nAfterward, I asked him, \u201cDad, why did you draw the clock with Roman numerals?\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

He looked at me, completely matter-of-fact, and said: \u201cThat\u2019s the way a clock should be.\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

He wasn\u2019t slipping. He was being precise.<\/em><\/p>\n

Later in the test, he was asked to name animals in alphabetical order. His answers?<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cAardvark\u2026 Bald eagle\u2026 Cuttlefish\u2026\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n

And on it went\u2014not simple answers, but the kind that come from a mind that could complete a The New York Times crossword puzzle in 15 minutes\u2014and get it right.<\/em><\/p>\n

Which raises the question\u2026<\/em><\/p>\n

What are we really measuring\u2014and how?<\/em><\/p>\n

Greg Stangl offers his own experience with a cognitive test\u2014and the questions he thinks we should<\/strong> be asking.<\/em><\/p>\n

My Cognitive Test<\/h1>\n

By Greg Stangl<\/p><\/p>\n

I<\/span>recently got a call from my local medical provider. The nice lady on the phone said \u2014 in the same tone you\u2019d use to tell someone their car warranty has expired \u2014 \u201cNow that you\u2019re of a certain age, we need to start seeing you twice a year.\u201d<\/p>\n

Wait. What?<\/p>\n

She didn\u2019t specify what \u201ccertain age\u201d meant, but since I just turned 75, I assume it\u2019s the age where they start checking to make sure you\u2019re not brushing your teeth with hemorrhoid cream or trying to turn on the AC with the TV remote.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I agreed to come in for a cognitive test.<\/p>\n

One of my lifelong challenges is that I always try to be silly. I look for the laugh in everything. I can\u2019t help it \u2014 it\u2019s cheaper than therapy and more fun than yoga. My wife warned me to behave myself or they might lock me up on the spot. She said it with a little too much hope in her voice.<\/p>\n

Here were my official questions:<\/p>\n

Question 1.<\/strong> What is today\u2019s date?<\/p>\n

Question 2<\/strong>. Where are you right now?<\/p>\n

Question 3.<\/strong> I\u2019m going to name three objects (ball, television, puppy). Repeat them now, and again after the test.<\/p>\n

Question 4.<\/strong> Draw a clock showing 10 minutes past noon.<\/p>\n

Question 5.<\/strong> How are a watch and a ruler similar?<\/p>\n

I passed with flying colors \u2014 which was a relief, because I was fully prepared to argue that \u201c10 minutes past noon\u201d is a matter of personal interpretation depending on whether you\u2019ve had lunch, a nap, or a glass of wine.<\/p>\n

But afterward, I realized these questions don\u2019t really measure my cognitive abilities. If they really want to know how I\u2019m doing, they should ask questions that reflect my actual lifestyle.<\/p>\n

For example:<\/p>\n

Question 1.<\/strong> Have you ever gone outside wearing two different shoes? On the same foot?\n(Extra credit if you didn\u2019t notice until someone else pointed it out.)<\/p>\n

Question 2.<\/strong> Have you ever eaten dessert before your main meal? And did it ruin your appetite, or did it simply set the tone for the rest of the day?<\/p>\n

Question 3.<\/strong> Do you occasionally forget your wife\u2019s name, birthdate, or your anniversary?\n(Negative points if you forget all three while she\u2019s standing right there.)<\/p>\n

Question 4.<\/strong> Do you enjoy letting your 60-pound Springer Spaniel take a long nap on your lap?\nAnd do you take a long nap right with it?<\/p>\n

Question 5<\/strong>. Have you ever gotten up in the morning, sat in your lounger, and immediately fallen asleep again?\nDid you wake up with a dog on your lap?<\/p>\n

Question 6<\/strong>. Can you remember most of the kids in your 8th grade class but not the couple you met last night who introduced themselves three times and even spelled their names?<\/p>\n

Question 7.<\/strong> Have you ever walked to the kitchen and forgotten why you went there?\nDid you grab a pudding cup to make it look like you had a plan?<\/p>\n

Question 8.<\/strong> Are coffee, pudding, and wine now your three basic food groups?\n(If yes, congratulations \u2014 you\u2019re on the Mediterranean Diet, Florida Edition.)<\/p>\n

Question 9<\/strong>. Have you ever had a gummy along with your glass of wine around the campfire at night and your son had to show you where your camper was?\nFor me, settling into that \u201ccertain age\u201d has actually been fun. I feel good, I look good (remember: beauty is in the eye of the beer holder), and I generally make my way around each day without getting lost. Usually. As long as my wife doesn\u2019t move the furniture again.<\/p>\n

It\u2019ll be interesting to see what questions they ask me at my next appointment.<\/p>\n

Now if I can just remember the time\u2026 and why I wrote it down.<\/p>\n

Greg Stangl has been a professional photographer, writer, and speaker for more than 40 years. His work has appeared in industry publications, and he continues to write with a focus on everyday experiences and humor. He divides his time between homes in Florida and Wisconsin with his wife, Colleen, and their Springer Spaniels, Isabella Rosalini and Sophia Loren.<\/h5>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A humorous and heartfelt look at aging, memory, and perspective…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":17178,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[216,218],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-17169","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-spring-summer-2026","category-spring-summer-2026-columns"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17169","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17169"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17169\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":17475,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17169\/revisions\/17475"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17178"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17169"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17169"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17169"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}