{"id":6319,"date":"2017-09-03T14:43:28","date_gmt":"2017-09-03T14:43:28","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/?p=6319"},"modified":"2017-11-02T17:21:59","modified_gmt":"2017-11-02T17:21:59","slug":"the-old-gray-grandma-aint-what-she-used-to-be","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/fall-2017\/the-old-gray-grandma-aint-what-she-used-to-be\/","title":{"rendered":"The Old, Gray Grandma Ain\u2019t What She Used to Be"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today\u2019s grandmother: She ain\u2019t old, she ain\u2019t gray, and she is, in fact, seemingly ageless. So says broadcast journalist and author Leslie Stahl in her new book, Becoming Grandma: The Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting\u2026<\/em><\/a><\/p>\n

\u201cWe don\u2019t play canasta in the afternoon, we go to the gym; we get blond streaks instead of blue rinse; and we\u2019re far move active with our own grandchildren than even our parents.\u201d<\/p>\n

Leslie Stahl, known for her long-running stint as an on-camera reporter for 60 Minutes<\/em>, wrote this must-read book for soon to be, or those who have already joined the ranks, grandmothers.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>

Lesley Stahl and granddaughter, Chloe. Photo: Courtesy of Blue Rider Press<\/p><\/p>\n

Her book Becoming Grandma<\/em> is a personal account of her own journey to becoming a grandparent and sheds light on grandparenting in today\u2019s world. Stahl calls upon her investigative reporting skills to explore how grandmothers of today are meeting the challenges, feeling the emotions, and reveling in the rewards of their new roles. In a heartwarming and more than honest style, she shares her own experiences of becoming a gran to her daughter Taylor and son-in-law Andrew\u2019s daughters, Jordan and Chloe.<\/p>\n

The New-Age Grandma<\/h4>\n

Whether the moniker is grand-m\u00e8re<\/em> (French), nonna<\/em> (Italian), oma<\/em> (German), abuela<\/em> (Spanish), yaya<\/em> (Greek), or bibi<\/em> (Swahili), today\u2019s granny is a little different from previous generations\u2014and a little bit the same. Stahl takes you through the evolution of grand parenting, the various roles that grannies have taken on, and then some\u2026<\/p>\n

[awesome-gallery id=6429]

(Left) Lesley Stahl and President Jimmy Carter. Photo: CBS Broadcasting Inc. (Right) Lesley Stahl interviewing the Donald Trump family before the election. Photo: Chris Albert for CBSNews\/60MINUTES<\/p><\/p>\n

Though not quite a baby boomer, Stahl started her career in television during the 1970s, living and working alongside the revolutionary and strong working women who were all part of the first big wave of the women\u2019s rights movement. Many of these women are grandparents today and are pushing the grandparent ceiling as they have done with every passage throughout their lives.<\/p>\n

Just as the baby boomers have redefined life as we know it, they have embraced growing older with the vengeance of the battle cry: \u201cHell, no, we won\u2019t go.\u201d Stahl explores how these pioneers \u201care defining and developing a new way of grandmothering.\u201d<\/p>\n

Trying to keep their independence and youth intact, boomers are realizing there is something happening when they have a grandchild. That\u2019s when everything gets a little topsy-turvy.<\/p>\n

Stahl seeks to make sense of these new granny feelings by taking a hard look at the biochemistry of being a grandmother and the release of the very powerful bonding hormone of oxytocin. This may be just the answer as to why grandparents feel just like they have fallen in love again.<\/p>\n

\u201cAnd there\u2019s the grandparent swoon,\u201d Stahl said. \u201cWhen we\u2019re children, our feelings are selfish; during parenthood, they\u2019re burdened with responsibility and fear and lack of sleep. Grandparent love is unfettered, uncomplicated. Call it ananda<\/em>, which is Sanskrit for \u2018bliss.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>The book is a fun and informative read, answering some of the questions you may be afraid to ask as you contemplate the reality of becoming a grandparent.<\/p>\n

She also has important tips on how to let your children become parents while you step back and become a grandparent.<\/p>\n

Stahl reflects on the various roles that grandmothers of today choose from \u201cGranny Nannies,\u201d to \u201cWorking Grannies,\u201d and even includes the grandpas through a chapter called \u201cMacho to Mush.\u201d<\/p>\n

Helpful hints are there for mothers-in-law on how to bite their tongues when necessary (meaning a lot) and also how to move around in their new roles without creating life-long sentences, forbidding them from visiting their grandchildren.<\/p>\n

Spoiler alert! If you are a mother of sons, you may feel uncomfortable with her chapter \u201cNatural Enemies.\u201d While reading it, you may want to listen to the 1961 \u201cMother in Law\u201d song by Ernie K-Doe.<\/p>\n

Click here<\/a> to listen! https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/watch?v=6EN5eJf5h_k<\/a><\/p>\n

Stahl addresses the minefield that mothers-in-law, particularly mothers of sons, need to walk through. (Editor\u2019s note: Don\u2019t worry, mothers of boys. It doesn\u2019t always work out the way she describes.)<\/p>\n

Roles of Grans Are A’Changin<\/h4>\n

As society has changed so, too, have the roles of grans. Stahl covers some of the new age roles for grandparents from working grans to grandmothers of stepchildren.<\/p>\n

Stahl says:<\/p>\n

We\u2019re now entering another new phase where more and more of us gray-heads are refusing to leave our jobs just as young adults are delaying getting theirs. It\u2019s as though there\u2019s some biological imperative at work. While our generation left home and launched our careers at twenty-one, today our children are waiting till they\u2019re thirty-one. We\u2019re all postponing growing up or, in our case, growing old.<\/p>\n

For Stahl, continuing to work for 60 Minutes<\/em> is a way to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.<\/p>\n

The revelation for Stahl of becoming a grandmother takes the form of a passionate call for positive action in her final chapter.<\/p>\n

As a new gran or if you are seeing the role of grand parenting looming on the horizon, you will be inspired by Stahl\u2019s insight into this new territory in today\u2019s world.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>Healthy Aging\u00ae Magazine<\/em> Reader Quotes on Being Grandparents<\/h4>\n

What does being a grandparent mean to you? Do you share some of Stahl\u2019s revelations?<\/p>\n

After reading Stahl\u2019s book, we thought we would ask our readers, the active 45-plus crowd, what becoming a grandparent has meant to them.<\/p>\n

Here are a few of our favorite quotes\u2026<\/p>\n

Judy D.:<\/strong><\/p>\n

As for this great adventure of becoming grandparents, we have just \u00a0 loved having these little guys enter our lives.\u00a0Three years ago, when Ben and Heidi first told us that they were expecting a baby, our reaction was nothing but pure joy. Our extended\u00a0family is very small, and we are just thrilled to have these precious babies in our lives and to see them whenever we can. I feel blessed that the grandsons arrived while we are still young and active enough to visit them and do fun things together.<\/p>\n

If I had any thought worth quoting, it would probably be this: Yes, it’s wonderful to have grandchildren, get to know them, have fun with them, plan your holidays around them,\u00a0fall in love with them. But to me, the greatest aspect of this stage in life is just the sheer joy of watching your son become a father. My son has qualities in him I may have suspected but never knew for certain. And watching him interact with his baby sons is just indescribable. It’s fun to see my younger son become an uncle, too, and I love watching that relationship unfold.<\/p>\n

There have been moments I have watched my son, the dad,\u00a0doing something with his little mini-me son, maybe planting flowers in their backyard or singing him songs, and the sweetness of the moment has overwhelmed me. I’ve actually had to leave the room to grab a Kleenex\u00a0because the tears have welled up.<\/p>\n

Tom D.:<\/strong><\/p>\n

I figured I’d find the grandkid amusing but that I couldn\u2019t possibly be more than minimally invested emotionally because there\u2019s only so much love a heart can hold and mine, I was certain, had already been topped off years before. Nobody ever warned me that the moment I beheld my grandson, my cynical old heart would instantly sprout another chamber and be filled with an altogether different kind of love that, in its own way, is as intense and profound as anything I\u2019ve ever experienced.<\/p>\n

I took my daughter-in-law and toddler grandsons to the airport this morning after they had spent a week with us. Our house is a wreck. There are Cheerios everywhere, syrup stains on the sofa, the sliding glass doors are covered with handprints and our old dog has been hidden under the bed, only coming out for food. As I watched them make their ways through the security line, I experienced two conflicting emotions: Relief that they were leaving and an almost unbearable feeling of love that brought a lump to my throat and tears to my eyes.<\/p>\n

Manette R., called Meme by her grandchildren:<\/strong><\/p>\n

It\u2019s hard to believe that my “baby” just had a baby. It just makes me feel grateful that I\u2019m able to share motherhood with her.<\/p>\n

My mother was a stay-at-home mother who lived out of town but was surrounded by grandchildren who loved being with her. My mother-in-law worked and lived out of town and was not surrounded by her grandchildren. I have been a working mom my whole career, so my children had different experiences with their grandmothers. Since her parents both work and I was a working mom for my whole career, I believe it is my role to be there for my granddaughter.<\/p>\n

Many have been working moms like me, so they have different perspectives\u00a0on how they want to be grandparents. For me, it is my opportunity to spend the time with them that I did not have with my children.<\/p>\n

Kathy F.:<\/strong><\/p>\n

My first feelings as a grandmother were awe and intense love. I keep the newborn photo of my first grandchild as a screen saver on my phone to remind me of the euphoria I felt in that moment.<\/p>\n

While most people do not talk about it, in addition to my intense love for my grandchildren, I felt and continue to feel enormous pride and love for my son and daughter-in-law. At the moment of the birth of their first child, they transformed from being a couple to being parents.<\/p>\n

The transformation literally appeared before my eyes. The feelings of joy that I have for my grandchildren are always joined with my feeling of pride and love for my son and daughter-in-law.<\/p>\n

I am called grandma. I tried to be called \u201cmimi,\u201d but my son quickly shot down that idea. I am glad he did.\u00a0I am so proud of being called grandma. My heart melts whenever my three-year-old granddaughter calls me grandma\u2014and I think other people are touched by it, too.<\/p>\n

What are your feelings about becoming a grandparent? Let us know on Facebook!<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Review: Leslie Stahl\u2019s Becoming Grandma: The Joys and Science of the New Grandparenting<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":6326,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[83,85],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-6319","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fall-2017","category-fall-2017-features"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6319","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6319"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6319\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6436,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6319\/revisions\/6436"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/6326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6319"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6319"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6319"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}