If the articles don\u2019t su\ufb03ciently cover the subject for you, there are plenty of books available, too. Marni Jameson\u2019s book Downsizing the Family Home: What to Save, What to Let Go<\/em> is fast becoming the go-to book for downsizing. Part memoire and part how-to, it was published in 2015 by AARP and is the recipient of numerous awards.<\/p>\n And don\u2019t worry, it\u2019s not just an American thing. Marie Kondo\u2019s The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing<\/em> has sold more than 7 million copies worldwide. Meanwhile, Margareta Magnusson has published a book to teach us The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning<\/em>. Who\u2019s titling these books, anyway? You\u2019ll find these books, and many more, in a growing subsection about \u201cstu\ufb00\u201d in the home and organizing section of your local book store or library.<\/p>\n With all this publicity about how little your kids will want, you might think that everyone has given up on the idea. But that\u2019s not the case. And if you\u2019re honest with yourself, you want some of your things to go to your kids, too\u2014or grandkids, second cousin, or third cousin twice removed on your stepmother\u2019s side.<\/p>\n How do I know? I\u2019m a professional downsizer. Every day, I work with people to move and downsize. I\u2019m part of a growing industry, usually called \u201csenior move managers.\u201d And I\u2019m a member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers<\/a> (NASMM).<\/p>\n Based on my experience, there are some strategies that may allow you to give some of your stu\ufb00 to family:<\/p>\n Hand-me-downs. Photo (left): Deposit Photos; (center and right) CWIProphoto.com<\/p><\/div>\n When downsizing, parents will often want their children to take everything they can\u2019t take. Or parents will say, \u201cTake anything you want!\u201d Faced with so many options, many children will opt for nothing. It\u2019s just easier. It takes time and often creates complications to \u201cpick\u201d items. Instead, you should\u2026<\/p>\n Most kids won\u2019t accept \u201ceverything\u201d and \u201canything.\u201d So, instead try something like this: \u201cI want you to take my father\u2019s medals from World War I. I have them all in this box and have written down the stories of how he received each one.\u201d Or you can say, \u201cI want you to take my typewriter. It was the last gift given to me by your grandmother. And it\u2019s the only thing I have left from my college years.\u201d These are specific and meaningful, so most family will accept these kinds of requests.<\/p>\n Asking family to take your antique watch is di\ufb00erent from asking them to take the grandfather clock. Asking them to take the jewelry box that your father made is di\ufb00erent from asking them to take the five-piece dining room set that came with your great- grandparents from Ireland.<\/p>\n Collectors look at their collection and think about when each piece came into their possession. Whether it was a gift or a lucky find, each piece tells a story. But that story is a personal story. \u201cYour\u201d collection is just that: yours. Don\u2019t expect that importance to resonate with other family members.<\/p>\n Good news, your granddaughter wants your dining room table! She\u2019s planning to paint it hot pink, remove the Queen Anne legs, and replace them with short metals ones so she can use it as a co\ufb00ee table. Or your favorite cousin wants your Lionel train set. He knows a metal sculptor who can turn it into a cool light fixture. Do you still want your family to get your stu\ufb00 if they\u2019re going to alter it? You have to be willing to give your things away without strings attached. And that means your things might be used di\ufb00erently from how you expected.<\/p>\n When they say \u201cno,\u201d accept it. They are more likely to say \u201cyes\u201d to some things if they know that they have control over what they\u2019re getting<\/p>\n Demonstrate your acceptance of their answer by following through. If you say \u201cif you don\u2019t take the widgets, they\u2019ll be donated,\u201d and your family still can\u2019t take them, the widgets need to go to donation\u2014period.<\/p>\n Your sister-in-law wants one teacup from your mother\u2019s teacup set. Are you willing to break up the set? Or are you going to say, \u201cIf you\u2019re going to take your grandparents\u2019 china, you really should take their linens, too\u201d? No, this is the slippery slope. Let your sister-in-law take the one cup, and let the china go without the linens. Unless the collection is valuable and would be affected by dividing it up, let your family take only the things they want.<\/p>\n When your family is free to select, knowing there are no strings attached and their answers will be accepted, you may be surprised by what they select. Expect to be surprised; it\u2019ll make the process so much easier on everyone!<\/p>\n I wish I could guarantee that these strategies will work for everyone and with all their stu\ufb00. But I can\u2019t. Your stu\ufb00 and your family are unique. But when you use these nine strategies, you should have a better outcome. Always remember that maintaining good relationships is far more important than maintaining \u201cstu\ufb00.\u201d Good luck with your downsizing!<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Tips from professional “downsizer”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":8494,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[104,105],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-8436","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-winter-2019","category-winter-2019-features"],"acf":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8436","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=8436"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8436\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":8780,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/8436\/revisions\/8780"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/8494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=8436"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=8436"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=8436"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}![\"\"](\"https:\/\/healthyaging.net\/magazine\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/01\/stuff-to-give-750w.jpg\")
<\/a>1. Not everything<\/h4>\n
2. Make it specific and explain why<\/h4>\n
3. Size matters<\/h4>\n
4. Your collectibles<\/h4>\n
5. No strings attached<\/h4>\n
6. Accept their answer<\/h4>\n
7. No idle threats<\/h4>\n
8. Slippery slope<\/h4>\n
9. Expect surprises<\/h4>\n
Megan Bond is a certified senior move manager and president of Complete Transitions. She is a member of the National Association of Senior Move Managers<\/a> (NASMM).<\/h5>\n