By Judy Smith

Three years ago, I finished writing what I thought would be my debut novel—a charming story about four women in an over-55 community who bond over mah-jongg, children, grandchildren, and the occasional pickleball tournament. It was sweet, sentimental, and a love letter to the joys of aging gracefully.

I had just typed “The End” when my real life blew up in my face.

My partner of 25 years was cheating on me. I found out in the most humiliating way imaginable: he mistakenly had a public—not private—conversation with his mistress on Facebook. For everyone to see. My granddaughters, my children, my friends—even the neighbors in my own over-55 community.

Cue emotional whiplash. One moment I was basking in fictional friendship; the next, I was reeling from betrayal. And not just one betrayal—multiple. It turned out my 76-year-old partner had a roster of mistresses. I know. Let that sink in.

So what does a 70-year-old woman do when her world collapses? Well, I threw out the sweet little novel and started over. But not right away. First, I spent three months hiding under the covers, crying, making friends with Ben & Jerry’s, and binge-watching Dateline episodes where wives murder their cheating husbands. I emerged from my bed for food and to shower. The eating came often, but the showering, not as much. I ignored the slew of well-meaning friends who texted, called, and emailed. Relentlessly.

Eventually, I turned to the internet in search of answers. Before all this, my typical searches were innocent enough: “How to treat a neck rash,” “Home remedies for vertigo,” or “Does castor oil actually reduce wrinkles?” But now, I was Googling things like, “Why would a man in his late 70s risk a 25-year relationship?” And do you know what that trusty internet told me?

Brace yourself: According to the Institute for Family Studies, men in their 70s have the highest infidelity rate (26%), and it stays high well into their 80s. Yes, 80s. I’ll pause while you catch your breath.

Now, this might sound a bit braggy, but bear with me. I’m attractive. I’ve kept myself fit. And I’m what people politely call “affable.” So naturally, I questioned everything—myself, our relationship, and what would come next, once I was finally able to drag myself out of bed.

But here’s the thing about women in our so-called golden years: we don’t crumble. We do get out of bed. We pivot. We write new stories. We reclaim the narrative. I stopped blaming his cheating on my sagging arms or the lines on my face. You know why? Because it was his weakness.

I am still a vital, interesting woman, with a world of life experience—and even more yet to come. I’m learning how to drive an ATV, I’m starting a podcast with my new bestie, I’m working on a second book, and I may even start dating. Or at least start Googling “senior online dating”.

And I’m not saying you have to throw out your cheating partner. Maybe your relationship can grow stronger after infidelity. I’ve heard it happens, and if it does—brava. I applaud you.

In my case, though, it was a declaration:

That aging doesn’t mean settling.
That betrayal doesn’t mean bitterness.
That heartbreak, even at 70, can be a beginning—not an end.

And that Facebook, ironically, is still good for something. I’ve widened my social circle, embraced new opportunities, and—most importantly—I found me again. A strong, independent woman who can hold her head high and face whatever the world has to offer, even at 70.

The water in my Golden Pond is clearer now. And I dive right in and do my water aerobics.

And by gosh, I wrote a novel.
A revenge novel.
And yes—I gave him a copy.

Judy Smith is the author of The Golden Years Glitch available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and bookstores nationwide.