19 Aug IDEAS: Your Birthday is a Major Holiday
Your birthday is the most powerful day of your year. It marks the day you began this magnificent, challenging, interesting life of yours and it’s worth celebrating for that reason alone. Your spirit is in full alignment on your birthday and if you tune in, you can feel – and radiate – the uplifting grace of you.
Celebrating your birthday matters because you matter. Your life matters. And birthdays give you (and the rest of us!) one day a year to press the pause button, so you can put yourself into the center of your day and do what delights you.
The Importance of Making Your Birthday Special
When’s the last time you were able to do that with unfettered joy? Without guilt? Without feeling like you were being selfish. Birthdays are an equal opportunity provider. We all get one 24-hour period a year to celebrate ourselves. It’s healing – and revealing – to do so, especially for those who tend to put others’ needs and wishes before their own.
Many people don’t embrace their birthdays. They actively avoid them and grit their teeth while the day approaches, crests, and ends. Or they show up for a festive day on the outside that is not fulfilling on the inside, feeling internally isolated as good cheer is projected towards them.
People who experience the “birthday blues” may subconsciously sabotage any joy they might have on their birthdays. This birthday avoidance likely stems from disappointing childhood experiences when excited hopes and expectations were not met.
When parents prioritize other things instead of celebrating us, or forget our birthdays (it happens!), or mete out harsh energy on our special day, it can make the sensitive child shut down like a sea anemone.
Feeling birthday disappointment as a child is magnified because we all know we’re supposed to be special on our birthdays. And when we’re not, well, we may close our hearts and believe our birthday is “just another day” that doesn’t really matter. So, we wear it as armor and believe it will protect us.
Many people believe this well into adulthood and create self-fulfilling prophecies to prove it true. This is where birthday sabotage steps in.
Birthday sabotage is a thing. When we avoid our birthday, we effectively keep any joy from showing up on our day. How can we have a happy birthday if we don’t give it the energy it deserves?
We can’t, and that’s the point. Another way we sabotage our birthday is by not planning for it in advance. Just like you wouldn’t wake up on Thanksgiving and say, “What’s for dinner and who’s coming over?” you can’t expect to wake up on your birthday and have your friends join you for lunch.
Most of us are too busy to be spontaneously available like that, and it’s not fair to your friends to spring a birthday invitation on them at the last minute. They’ll feel badly for not being able to celebrate you, and you will have subconsciously reaffirmed your belief that your birthday isn’t important.
A third way we sabotage our birthday is by picking a fight with people close to us. As our birthday approaches, it feels like a big wave of energy coming our way. If we are birthday avoidant – and even if we’re birthday positive – we can feel extra sensitive in those days leading up to it.
We might start crying for no reason or feel agitated. Rather than tuning in and saying to ourselves, “It looks like I’m feeling anxious about my approaching birthday…what’s going on here?” we might subconsciously pick a fight with people close to us that effectively brings our energy down just in time for our birthday. “See?” we say to ourselves, “…even when I try to have a happy birthday, I can’t.” We are often unaware that our birthday joy evaporated due to our own choices – however subconscious.
Another major reason people don’t like celebrating their birthdays, is because they don’t like aging – as if aging is a four-letter word. It is not. Aging is a privilege. We all know people who didn’t make it to our age.
Would we judge them if they lived to be our age or older? Would we criticize them for their gray hair and smile lines? No. We would be delighted they were still alive, celebrating another year of life. Society wants us to believe that being youthful is better than being older. That youthful looks, trends, and attitudes are far more desirable than what we earn (and look like) when we live long enough to gain wisdom through experience.
Elders are sacred – and interesting!
Talk to anyone who is over 75 and they all have a rich story. They embody wisdom simply from living long enough to be able to reflect upon their lives with perspective. Embracing our age and refusing to be ashamed or self-deprecating, is a source of power.
No one gets to define your worth – especially not because of your age! You are in charge of owning your power, value, and dignity. Aging out loud and proudly defies the cultural stigma around aging that we unwittingly reinforce when we feel we must lie about our age, joke about it, or otherwise apologize for it. We can do better on our own behalf.
How to Make Your Birthday Truly Special
Which brings us back to birthdays. Celebrating ourselves boldly and with joy is a beautiful act of self-affirmation. We all get to do it! So, now what? How can you make your birthdays as special as they can be?
Here are three things you can do:
1. Make a Plan – Early
Start thinking of what you’d like to do four to six weeks beforehand. Are you dreaming of dinner at that fancy new restaurant? Make reservations. Want a day at the spa? Make reservations. Would you like to have a dinner party? Invite your friends in advance so they can be available. You get the point. If it’s worth doing on your birthday, you’ll likely need to plan for it. Which includes taking the day off work, or your other normal responsibilities. That’s a big one!
2. Decorate Your Home
Like with other holidays, decorations invoke a festive air that invites anticipation. String up a “happy birthday” banner and buy yourself flowers. On your Birthday Eve (it’s a special time!) set up a birthday altar that features favorite photos including those from your childhood. Add mementos, candles, and whatever else sparks your joy and watch the energy in your home transform
3. Be Present. Let Go of Perfection
Do your thing, follow your plans, and be open to the magic that’s there for you on your day, even if things don’t quite go as you imagined. Turn on the radio and let it serenade you. Tell the barista it’s your birthday and watch them light up with sincere joy for you. Receive all the good energy coming your way (even if you’re not used to it) and allow yourself to expand into the birthday happiness as much as possible.
You are a miracle. Exactly the way you are. And every year you’re here is a gift. Celebrating your birthday is a chance to remember that. Go on. Do it. And enjoy it all!
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