By Joan Price
You’re ready to connect for dating, sex, love, companionship – but dating as a senior might feel awkward and downright weird.
What are the guidelines?
How do you navigate online dating and avoid the pitfalls that send potential dates running in the other direction?
Here are some dating tips for getting back on the horse:
1. Get out on your own and participate in the social activities you enjoy. You’ll meet other people who enjoy the same activities you do, and even if you don’t meet anyone you’d like to date, you’ll have a good time.
2. Try online dating—that’s where the people are (at our age, too). Make sure your profile conveys what’s unique about you. Be authentic.
3. Post a good, current headshot that shows your warmth and personality. Do not wear sunglasses or hide under a hat or shadow. Have someone else take your photo—too many people post “selfies” that show them scowling or squinting because they can’t see the tiny window without their reading glasses (and don’t want to wear them in the photo).
4. Don’t lie about your age. You may think that claiming to be younger than you are increases your chances, but once the truth comes out—and it will!—your date can’t help but see you as someone who started out with a lie.
5. Don’t lie about your weight or body type, either. They will see for themselves the first time you meet anyway.
6. A first date is not an audition for a soul mate; it’s just an audition for a second date. Relax and enjoy getting to know someone new.
7. No first date is a waste of time. Even if you realize you don’t want to pursue a relationship with this person, use that first meeting to “practice” dating. Figure out what questions elicit interesting information, how to cope with silences, and how to maintain the give-and-take of a dialogue. You’ll learn as much about yourself as the other person.
8. Have a dialogue, not a monologue. As interesting as you may be, if you spend the whole time talking, you’ll bore your date (and probably yourself).
9. Don’t string someone along or make up excuses if you don’t want a second date. Practice a way to say your version of “I’ve enjoyed meeting you, but I don’t think we’re a match,” so that you can express it clearly and politely.
10. When you think a connection might become sexual, have a clear conversation about safer sex, including barrier protection. Don’t take chances with your sexual health.
Joan Price is the author of Naked at Our Age: Talking Out Loud About Senior Sex: Talking Out Loud about Senior Sex. http://www.joanprice.com
